The Curmudgeonly Professor

The Sunflowers are Blooming so Autumn Won't Be Far Behind: Photos of the Day July 10 2009

Can you believe the sunflowers are cheerfully blooming, faces to the sun, already?  That means that autumn isn't far behind, if you can believe that, just as summers seems to be starting!

                                        

Summer Flower Gardens at Thanksgiving Point: Photos of the Day July 10 2009

                                             

Petunias are Always Photogenic: Photos of the Day July 10 2009

 

Post No. 1600: A Duck Contemplating Jumping in the Duck Pond: Photos of the Day July 10 2009

In honor of post number 1600, here is a duck getting nervous as I came closer and got ready to hop in the duck pond.

 

The Dragonfly and the Pink Rose: Photos of the Day July 10 2009

 

We Visit the Flower Gardens at the Jordan River Temple to See the Summer Blossoms: Photo of the Day July 9 2009

Flower Gardens at Thanksgiving Point: Photos of the Day June 9 2009

 

Natural Gas, Coal, Cattle, Prairie, and Clouds: The Wealth of Southwest Wyoming

Not great photos from a moving car, but good enough to give you an idea of the natural gas wealth of southwest Wyoming

The Farson Merc, famous for monster-sized ice cream cones, and the last stop before going down South Pass and reaching Lander.  Used to be small grocery here, now just ice cream and lunch stuff.  If you have legal problems, a law office is on second floor, going up rickety stairs with bannister loose mostly from the wall.  Coed restroom up half a flight of stairs.  The girl working the ice cream counter turned out to be from Pleasant Grove UT.  Farson is a tiny agricultural community founded by a project to irrigate the high desert.  We've stopped here countless times.  A small ice cream cone is $2, which is large enough for three people.

 

Points to Ponder on July 9 from the Curmudgeonly Professor

Here are some nagging thoughts for today:

• If you criticize a black person or any non-Caucasian, you are automatically a racist.
• If you criticize a female for any reason whatsoever, you are a sexist.
• If you criticize your boss or blow the whistle, you are fired and the mess is all your fault.
• If you do something wrong, the deed is never your fault.
• If you criticize a bloviator, you must apologize.
• If you cross David Letterman, he may get the best of you.
• If you criticize certain politicians, you are un-American.
• If you vote no on programs designed to help our country, you are patriotic.
• If you give up and resign your job or elected office in mid-stream, you are helping your country, company, or state.
• If you support non-Caucasians, you are automatically a racist.
• If you are a bigot, you probably think you are a patriotic American.
• If you run red lights or stop signs or run down people in parking lots, you are simply doing your duty.
• If you are 100% right and narrow-minded, then everyone else is 100% stupid and dead wrong.
• If you don't know anything, act on your biases anyway, and you will feel good about your choices.
• If you read this, you are probably offended and will never look at my blog again.  Oh well.

The Last Photos of Spring Flowers from Temple Square in Salt Lake City: Photos of the Day July 9 2009

                                    

                                     

 

Flower Gardens at LDS Church Office Building: Photos of the Day July 8 2009

                                    

Frequent Words Uttered in Matlock Reruns

As a Matlock afficionado, I have rued the day they didn't make more episodes since I am sick and tired of watching the same ones over and over.  Some episodes are egregious and I don't watch them any more, but a few warrant continued attention.  Today the episode had Fred Thompson in it and he turned out to be a big fat crook, and what amazed me is that he later had the gall to run for President of the U. S. of A.  Go figure.

But here are a few words and sentences that you can bet will show up regularly in most Matlock episodes:

• "Objection."  Uttered sporadically by the counsel for the misguided plaintiff who always stupidly sues an innocent defendant, so that the actor/actress playing such counsel can earn her acting fee. 
• "Let's get on with it."  Words uttered by the judge, who also must have something to say to justify being cast in a Matlock episode.  Words uttered to chastize Matlock who tends to ramble and go off on fishing expeditions during trials, doing everything but playing his guitar and singing songs.
• "We find the defendant not guilty."  Well duh.  The defendant is never guilty.  Only once that I remember, and that was a freakish and disconcerting result.
• "Let's go have a hot dog."  Words uttered by Matlock after many trials.  The court house where the trials take place is the only court house I know of that has a mobile hot dog stand in the hallways.
• "None of that is true."  Words uttered by nearly every guilty plaintiff whom Matlock has ascertained is either a crook or a murderer and has the goods to nail him or her to the jailhouse.
• I forgot to mention that Miss Crump from Opie days is some times the judge, and that's a bit hard to swallow.
• "Mr. Matlock, control your client."  Matlock's clients tend to go bonkers occasionally when it looks like they've been hoodwinked, cheated, framed, or otherwise, and Matlock must restrain them or have them hauled off.
• "One more word out of you Mr. Matlock and I'll have you in contempt of court."  Occasionally, Ben goes nuts when he is clearly being unfairly treated by jerks and waxes and emotes most violently to make his point.
• "My fee is $100,000."  At 100K a whack, you'd think Matlock would live in more elegant surroundings, buy a decent suit, and get rid of his old junker of a car.  What is he doing with his money?
• Where's Opie?  Deputy Fife has occasional roles, which usually seem awkward and contrived, like they were sort of a friendly gesture from Sheriff Andy to Deputy Barney.  But no Opie.
• Matlock ends up with a continued array of different daughters and female assistants, all of whom tend to be quite gorgeous and subject to hugs by Ben the attorney.

I'm sure this list is not complete, but as I think of other items for inclusion, I will let you know.  I think we should start a society of Matlock fans to dissect each and every episode and enshrine the series for future generations.

My Bachelor's Degree in Agriculture is Paying Off

The Curmudgeonly Professor grew up on a farm in northwestern Wyoming and, in fact, was Wyoming state president of the Future Farmers of America.  However much he may have wanted to become a farmer, which wasn't much, seeing how hard my dad worked for so little, he never made it that far.  Instead, he got a bachelor's degree in agriculture from the University of Wyoming where he started college living in a room in the hayloft of the sheep barn.  After studying sugar beet production, livestock production, chicken production, and a healthy dose of two years of chemistry, zoo, and a bunch of other science stuff, he opted out for economics since he never wanted to milk another ornery cow again in his life and was tired of shoveling manure.  Not that shoveling manure is a demeaning occupation, someone has to do it, but the Professor deemed as how he had shoveled his fair quota and someone else could shovel the rest.  As needed.

Now to the current situation.  My next-door neighbor bought these expensive little tent-watering gizmos with the tomato plants inside and regularly fertilizes, tends, and nourishes his tomato plants.  I stuck mine in the hard clay soil with a shot of potting soil in each.  And, voila, thanks to my bachelor's degree in agriculture, mine look just as dang good as my neighbors'.   At latest count, I have about 4 dozen green tomatoes, with one nearly pink, and if the robins and the rest of our feathered friends don't decimate them when they turn red, we will be having tomatoes the rest of the summer.  My one zuke has about a dozen little zukes and I will leave them on your doorstep if the production is prolific.  Last year my zuke only produced one little bitty one and one watermelon-sized one.  My cuke is finally blossoming and may produce a cucumber before the summer is over.  I have paid zero attention to my agricultural pursuits.  If they can't make it on their own, that's their problem.  But I feel my gardening success has to do with having earned a bachelor's degree in agriculture from the Universty of Wyoming, about which I remember little, except I memorized the names of the stomachs of a cow which I will be happy to recite to you if you so request.  Oh, by the way, my sister Ann tried to promote some fancy-schmancy system called foot-square or four-foot-square gardening early in the spring, and my sister Liz built fancy four-foot square wooden boxes in which her super-duper garden is now growing in abundance.  But I pooh-poohed such showy efforts since, to me, gardening isn't gardening unless you just stick stuff in the hard clay soil and see what happens.

Our Trip to Powell WY Continued

Stuffed critters at the Evanston WY rest stop View of Evanston WY from the highway rest stop The familiar red, white, and blue Wyoming State flag with the buffalo and the State seal.  I lived in Wyoming for 29 years and my wife and I were both raised there.  So Wyoming is still home and Utah a foreign land. East from Kemmerer toward South Pass.  Our trip will be two lane Wyoming highways from Evanston nearly to Powell WY. Below is a typical Wyoming prairie scene, but watch out for the antelope which can run at extremely fast speeds and the deer, not to mention a stray cow or two here and there and a bald eagle on a fence post. The Naughton coal fired power plant south of Kemmerer.  Fueled by low sulfur coal from the Chevron U.S.A. Coal Mine, the deepest open-pit coal mine in Wyoming which produces 40,000 tons of coal per week. You can read about the Chevron Coal Mine here.  Kemmerer is famous for being the location of the mother J.C. Penney store.  I asked the store clerk at the convenience store if that day was a slow day and she replied "Every day is a slow day in Kemmerer."

More from Temple Square in Salt Lake City: Photos of the Day July 8 2009

 

The Curmudgeonly Professor's WalMart Chronicles Continued

Though I have been assured that I would never be allowed to accompany my spousal unit to WalMart again due to unsubstantiated egregious whining and other defects manifested during past visits, I was coerced into going the other day.  Thus, I must report on that experience.

As usual, we entered the entrance door which was crowded by people exiting the store who had no idea whatsoever what the words "entrance" and "exit" mean in big letters right above the door.  A greeter was standing by the door who actually said "Welcome to WalMart," a first as far as I can remember.  We walked about 40 miles to acquire a few items.  My wife kept disappearing and I spent half my time looking for her.  She wanted some corn starch so I went in search.  I asked two male stockers (not stalkers) where the corn starch was and they learnedly said, aisle such and such, half way down.  Morons didn't know what they were talking about, so I asked a cheerful lady, and she escorted me personally to the corn starch, whereupon I retrieved a can so I could report a successful mission to my wife.  I explained to this lady that two men had misguided me to the corn starch and we shared some observations about the superiority of women in these regards to their male counterparts.  Such personal service is a rarity at WalMart, and is worth noting in my journal.

We continued to chuck stuff in our cart, while I was sent on several missions that involved walking the entire length and width of the 200 acre store, thus causing extreme fatigue and exhaustion to set in.  As we checked out, I was busy shoveling the cheap stuff on the conveyor belt and, therefore, could not monitor the prices shown on the digital readout.  My wife, however, notes all prices as she studies the cash register tapes and she ascertained the checker had done us out of 4 bucks because she had no idea what the pineapple cost and overcharged us 2 bucks on peanuts.  As we were leaving the store, we decided to buy the $3.98 lunch at the deli counter which necessitated me walking a mile each way to the self-checkout area, where I explained to the supervisor that I was a moron and could not check myself out, so she said the other checker lady there was also a moron and she (my checker out lady) always had to check out stuff for the other moron lady, so I shouldn't feel bad. 

Thus, after two hours, or so it seemed, and after extreme physical, emotional, and mental wear and tear, we left WalMart by the exit door.  When we got home I discovered I had plastered a huge wad of gum deposited by some moron on the parking lot pavement on the sole of my shoe which took a half hour to remove.  Was it worth going to WalMart?  I have my doubts.  But the economic multiplier effect of a few more pennies' profit going to the Walton family in Bentonville, AK, and to my wife's nephews who work for WalMart in Bentonville, AK, will likely lead to millions of dollars worth of economic stimulus and the construction of another 100 WalMarts.  And the longer the recession lasts, the more profitable WalMart will remain.  As soon as the turnaround happens, watch for WalMart leakage to Target, Kohl's, And the 98 cent specials at McDonald's.  And never agree to go on a special mission to find something for your wife while you are attending a seance at WalMart.

Blue Blossoms from Temple Square in Salt Lake City: Photo of the Day July 7 2009

                                       

Columbine Blossoms from Temple Square in Salt Lake City: Photos of the Day July 6 2009

                                              

                                             

Temple Square in Salt Lake City: Photos of the Day July 6 2009

 

Check out these great online photo editors

http://lifehacker.com/5307419/five-best-online-image-editors

One of my favorite Twitter sites, digitalPS, has posted the above site for the five best online image editors.  If you don't have a useful image editor, or even if you do, check these out.  Another great find on Twitter and another reason why Twitter is fast becoming my favorite information source. If you try any of these, let me know what you think.

Evaluation of the Sunday Funnies

As the Curmudgeonly Professor has written before, the Sunday funnies, known to sophisticates as comics, used to be a big deal.  Funnies were outstanding.  We eagerly perused the weekly Sunday strips of Orphan Annie, Dick Tracy, Prince Valiant, L'il Abner, Snuffy Smith and Barney Google, and others.  Now we just shuffle through and pick a few that usually are worth looking at and skip the vast majority of them as inane, amateurish, and far from funny or even thoughtful.

Today I decided to review the Sunday funnies in their entirety and read each and every comic strip in the Sunday Funnies provided by the Salt Lake daily papers.  Here is what I found:

Best of the Sunday Funnies Five Stars:

• Baby Blues, brathood at its most perceptive, often hilarious, with many fridge posts. Today, daddy calls mommy from office while he is piddling away the day at his desk, mommy is running three ring circus, and he asks "So are you busy too?'
• Classic Peanuts, infinite reruns are typically better than anything new.  Snoopy finds sheep to mow the grass around his dog house.
• For Better or Worse, not always a fan, but often right-on.  Today the issue is how do socks get mismated and lost in washer and dryer.  An issue I have dealt with forever.
• Hagar the Horrible. Casting off raiding boat without realizing tide is out.  My role model.

Usual Favorites, Not so Funny Today Four Stars:

• Dilbert, concerned about his raise, is told only "viable livelihood of the future involves cannibalism."  Now less worried about raise.
• Pickles, often hilarious, nails retired and aging issues with deadly aim, just not that funny today as Pickles explains to grandson that stone for skipping in water took eons to make smooth.
• Hi and Lois, cutely drawn, fun to read, Hi glad to be free on 4th of July from "pursuit of Presents."
• Beetle Bailey, not Mort Walker's best today.  Beetle hands bungee cord to Sarge dangling from cliff.
• Blondie, so-so today, Dagwood needs to know capital of South Dakota, Herb misleads, Dagwood misses out on radio quiz show.
• Wizard of Id and B.C., just not that good today.
• Zits, teenage boy dead on, so-so today.

Off-again, on again, some times funny, some times not Three Stars

• Garfield.  Best part of Garfield is intro panel which gets left off in space saving big dailies.
• Family circus.  some times just too-too, some times very clever.
• Sherman's Lagoon.  One of my son's favorites, I rarely find any yuks here.
• Doonesbury, not really a comic, belongs on editorial page.  Iffy, some Sundays a hoot, others, forgettable.

Can't stand, One Star or less:

• Cathy.  Quit reading years ago.  Maybe appeals to females, but I don't know why.

The worst, why are these strips still running?  No stars, thumbs down:

• Rex Morgan, M.D.  I haven't read this for 20 years or more, but started monitoring when letter to the editor warned about degradation of morals from scantily clad females in Rex Morgan so I thought, aha, maybe I should check it out so I could assist as monitor of morals.  Saw two scantily-clad maidens in bikinis, disgusting.
• Mary Worth.  Started out as Apple Annie in 30s as I recall, gradually evolved into sophisticated rich old lady.  Seriously, how many readers does Mary Worth have?  Two?  Three?
• Prince Valiant, used to be a gem, now not worth looking at.

The rest of them I'll leave to you to evaluate.  Some are occasionally cute and have a good line.  Many are just plain miserable.  What bothers me is this:  With hundreds of millions of people don't we have any better creative comics talent in the world than some of the totally mediocre strips that make the funnies each Sunday?  Where are they?

Flowers From Temple Square in Salt Lake City: Photos of the Day July 5 2009

                                              

Memories of July 4ths Gone By

A few things I remember from July 4ths gone by:

• Blowing up ant hills with firecrackers and watching the angry big red ants scurry off.
• Blowing up tin cans on top of fence posts.
• Blowing up anything else that needed to be blown up.
• Spending $2 on enough firecrackers to blow up everything.
• Dropping the watermelon on the way to the car for a rare 4th of July outing with my family when I was about 12 years old.  That would be the only watermelon we would have that year.
• Taking food across the field to our grandparents' home and having picnics on the front lawn.
• Going up Dead Indian Hill above Cody WY on the way to Sunlight Basin for a picnic with two sets of uncles and aunts and cousins.
• Watching fireworks wherever we lived in Laramie WY, Fort Collins CO, and Orem UT.
• My granddaughters' epic Fourth of July song composed and sang loudly during our family reunion in Marble Falls TX.  "It's the Fourth of July, Firecrackers in the sky, etc."  Next year they tried to write a new one and gave up.  We later found the draft in our downstairs store room, crumpled up, with the words disgustedly written, "This song sucks."  They tried.

I couldn't find the photo of the bug funeral from the same family reunion years ago.  Editorial correction:  Actually, this is the funeral procession for the bug, and these are the mourners.