Here are a few gems of wisdom I have picked up and am now sending into the blogosphere in hopes that they will benefit someone in Singapore or Manila or even Lightning Flats, Wyoming:
1. Molly did not think my photo of the abandoned wading pool in the dumpster had any artistic merit. I was stunned by this pronouncement, but I can see I have a long way to go in understanding how to photograph and portray junk, since Molly is a genuine artist, after all, and is certainly qualified to know which pictures of junk are true art and which are not.
2. I learned from the Penrose Mornings blog (linked at the right) that, after I left home for college, my little sister Ann and my little brother Steve brought fresh peas from the garden into my former bedroom, shelled them, and then tossed the pea pods through the hole in the wall that was made by pushing the doorknob through it years ago.
3. I learned that it probably won't do me any good to keep grousing about the gross unfairness of not getting my $100 instant savings on my new Sony camera, since the seller "could not find any evidence of the offer on the ads". Now you see it, now you don't. Does the seller think I am a total idiot and just made up my argument that the ad said, in no uncertain terms: "Special offer on this camera. $100 instant Sony savings." Was this a mirage in the Sahara Desert? Was this just talk show bloviating? This case reminds me of when I was working for the Wyoming Legislature during my late twenties. Complaints were forthcoming about the gambling going on in Jackson Hole. The Governor announced he was going up there, by golly, to investigate on, let us say the date was August 17, two weeks after the announcement. And, you know what, when the Governor got back to Cheyenne, guess what he announced? You got it, that he "could see no evidence of gambling in Jackson Hole."
4. I learned that, regrettably, the San Antonio Spurs may be a tad long of tooth and may need some youth transfusions to restore them to their rightful place at the top of the NBA heap (assuming the Utah Jazz can't get there).
5. I learned that the brand new spiffy Wal*Mart store in the southwest Salt Lake Valley could actually be a pleasant store to visit, with wide aisles, friendly people roaming the aisles (perhaps to deter shoplifters?), and that the massive inventory had not yet been picked over, strewn on the floor by kids whose mothers won't pay a lick of attention to what their little preciouses are dragging off the shelves, and with a blessed absence of kiosks and aisle-clogging specials for 69 cent Pringles or whatever. I still do not advise shopping at Wal*Mart, but we knew that a new store would have flats of petunias not yet bedraggled and picked over and besides we wanted to view this example of American Capitalism at its very pristine best before it evolved into what every other Wal*Mart I have been in looks like.
6. I learned not to go to sleep ten minutes before Matlock is over since then I don't have the satisfaction of seeing Ben (we're on a first name basis, I have watched enough of the reruns so I've earned that right) nail the dirty culprit and fry his or her guilty self on the witness stand, even though I already know who the rotten creep is.
7. I learned that I get more and more irritated at Leno and Letterman and their lazy networks for running reruns every few weeks, or even more often. Who wants to see old outdated and stupid jokes over again? Once is usually more than enough. In the Golden Era of Johnny Carson, the network wasn't a miserly cheapskate jerk, and brought in an array of talented, mostly, guest anchors. No more. Not on your life. How many week-long vacations do these 30-50 gazillion bucks-per-year get? Even George Bush doesn't spend that much time in Crawford, Texas but tends to his knitting, so to speak, in the District of Columbia. When he is not in Utah raising millions for Republicans at the Mitt Romney mansion in Deer Valley, costing millions, or however much, to fly himself here in the first place, plus enlisting an army of police escorts, surveillance stuff, people on rooftops, etc., all of which I am sure would add up to a tidy bill. The Republicans should net out the extra costs of the nice little visit and deduct that from what the donors gave so we taxpayers don't have to foot the bill. But I realize I am speaking in heretical terms.
8. That's all I learned this week. My brain is weary from carrying around all this extra incremental knowledge. I hope that someone, somewhere, will profit from knowing all of the stuff that I know and that you will all have a nice day, wondering why you didn't have anything better to do than waste it reading this trivia. Oh well.