Something rather ominous popped into my head today when I realized that not only had I seen the Matlock rerun episode today and that it was one I couldn't stand, but also that exactly one-half of the year 2008 was kaput, down the drain, done with, over, vanished, and that there was nothing I could do to recapture lost moments, missed opportunities, wasted time, and fractured days. The best I can say is that I survived another six months, that I outwitted my mean cardiologist who made me have an angiogram and lie flat on my back for 36 hours just so she could make sure I wasn't about to croak, and that I survived the Presidential Primary Sweepstakes, the he-said, no-she-said, no you didn't wear the flag pin, no you knew a jerk 20 years ago, and all related entertainment.
My son Ron regularly tells his dear wife that she is supposed to plan her work and then work her plan. I don't know why he does this, since he is usually in enough trouble disseminating other words of wisdom and merely adds insult to injury with this oldie but goodie. But I did think back to January 1, which seems like yesterday, and asked myself, "Excactly how did you plan to whittle away the next six months?" I thought doing household chores like vacuuming, emptying the trash, emptying the dishwasher, and planting my tomato plants among the petunias would likely take up about 63.2 percent of my time.
Now I ask my readers, does this tomato plant in my petunia patch look healthy or what?
Then I budgeted 10% for Matlock reruns, 10% for fixing my breakfast and lunch since my wife does not run a breakfast or lunch business around here, 10% for reading newspapers, including the Powell Tribune, my hometown newspaper from Powell, Wyoming, the finest town in the country, which I regularly try to read to my wife who regularly informs me she is not interested. Can you imagine? Add to that the attention I pay the three or more blogs I keep paying some attention to, the effort it takes to get ready every day, the morning walk, the nights when I can't sleep, and my efforts to play Name that Tune with my spouse, and you can see I am way up over 150% of my time, budgeted to the max, just like the federal budget deficit.
Is it any wonder my desk is still mired in old book bills, unanswered correspondence, newspaper clippings, software gizmos, and that I haven't yet filed or put away the junk I hauled up to Salt Lake City from St. George? No, the pressure of overload was just way far too great, and I haven't even counted the % of time I needed to spend on a little nap here and there, or the time I spent reading a bunch of books and ordering a bunch more. It was hard even to find time to sign my tax returns after my wife, our chief financial officer, compiled all the data and put the return in front of my nose to sign. I even went out and hoed my tiny garden spot today and began counting the ripe tomatoes that will appear shortly so I can get out my Vita-Mix and crank out an endless flow of fresh salsa. Oh, yes, and I forgot the time commitment to make regular trips to Costco and Wal*Mart, at least when I get permission to accompany my wife on condition that I am not going to be a pain in any bodily area.
So you can see where my six months of Two Oh Oh Eight went to. Now I have got to give serious thought to planning my next six months so that I can work my plan and try diligently not to annoy my wife, other relatives, and try to avoid going to sleep in church so maybe I can still repent. So I will dust off my twelve-step improvement project and get ready to roll. See you in six months.