Direct TV, after waiting since Saturday, and this is Wednesday, finally was able to provide their superior and timely service by sending out the repair technician. An able and cheerful young man showed up on our doorstep, and I could hardly hold him accountable for Direct TV's incompetence in providing terrible service and for leaving us stranded as if we were still in the 1940s before we ever knew that TV existed and before we ever had an opportunity to learn that TV would dominate our entire future lives and waste 90 percent of our discretionary time. The technician took one look at the location in the furnace room where two dozen TV wires congregate to do whatever two dozen TV wires are supposed to do and, in two seconds, cheerfully announced "I see the problem". "What is the problem," I say, "that was serious enough to deprive us of our life style and our sanity for nearly five days?" "This little box is supposed to have a green light," he said, "And there is no green light." So he replaced the little box without the green light, all of our TVs came on, and he went cheerfully on his way. Before leaving, he advised us that we were wise to have signed up for the care policy or he would have had to assess us eighty bucks just because their crappy equipment quit working (my words, not his). At least one positive glimmer came out of all the unadulterated misery and suffering we have gone through since Saturday.
I quickly began following the market on CNBC after he left, which admittedly I could do on the computer, but I am paying a fortune to Direct TV every month to have the privilege of watching a color screen that flashes market updates. The Dow started out respectably, but has since began suffering anemia as the gain is only in the 30s and 40s. Now 51.38. Oil is up 2.51 and rising, but despite the sharp drop in oil prices, Utah oil dealers haven't heard about the drop yet since we are right up there with Alaska and Hawaii, two places that ordinarily have high prices anyway, with the highest gas prices in the country at somewhere between $4.13 and higher. Dozens of hearings and millions spent on research continually assure us "there is no conspiracy on gas prices." Whatever. No matter that we have refineries right here in Salt Lake City and that gasoline prices are supposed to reflect transportation costs.
I even watched Regis and Kelly for a few minutes as he debated for five minutes how runny the egg yolks should be for Eggs Benedict, information that surely was critical for surviving today. I felt comforted to see that all of the ambulance chasing personal injury lawyers were still all spending their massive overhead on letting people know how many hundreds of thousands of dollars they got awarded to the last person who got bashed in an accident. I left The View on for 30 seconds, 30 seconds longer than I have left it on before.
I have no idea how many personal problems Dr. Phil could have solved if I had only been able to watch him, which I never do anyway, but it's just the idea of what if I had, a right which I paid Direct TV a big bundle for the right to do so. Plus we have missed several nights of 30 second sound-bite "News in Depth" stories on the evening news, and we have no idea how many goodies Oprah gave away or whether she announced any new books we are supposed to read. At least I can watch Olberman identify the "Worst Persons in the World" tonight, and go to sleep later on with the TV on.
We are so fortunate to live in this modern technological age and to be continually depressed with the best that modern writers and producers can come up with. None of which is even close to Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, M*A*S*H, and a dozen or so other talented and ingenious offerings from the past. At least the Olympics will soon be on, and the college football season is getting closer by the day. Where did all the talent go?
