Following are some of the things my wife says frequently and tends to repeat:
1. Did you read today's newspapers so we can get them off the floor?
2. Did you shower today?
3. No, I don't think there is anything seriously wrong with you, except your head. (in response to my hypochondriac worries).
4. Will you please go downstairs and take a nap so I can hear myself think.
5. No, I will not stay up and watch Letterman and Leno with you.
6. I can't believe how much this bill is (no matter how large or small; she can't stand to spend money).
7. Did you lock the front door?
8. Exactly when do you plan to read all of the books you have been buying?
9. Exactly when do you plan to put together another of the three new bookcases stored in the furnace room.
10. Why do you have to be so rude? (Generally, I'm just not aware that I'm rude).
11. No, I do not want to go to Costco today.
12. No, I am not fixing breakfast today. Or lunch. Wait until Father's Day next year, or your birthday. (Trouble is, what if I don't last that long?).
13. No, I am not getting up to get you a glass of water, and I don't really care how parched you are.
14. No, I am not getting up to go get the dictionary.
15. No, I don't know how soon the cuisine will be served up (a family saying, only cuisine is pronounced q-zine).
16. No, you can't eat supper in the living room.
17. Did you check the salt in the softener?
18. No, I still don't want to go to Costco. I hate Costco.
19. No, I won't go get you an Arctic Circle milkshake at 10:30 p.m., or any other time, for that matter since you can't have it anyway.
20. No, you can't come shopping with me.
21. No, you are not the Commander-in-Chief of this household.
22. I don't care if you have a Ph.D., you still don't know anything useful around the house.
23. When do you plan to clear your junk off the kitchen counter?
24. No, I don't see any evidence of progress on your Twelve Step Self-Improvement Program.
25. When do you intend to improve your language? (Just minor and fairly harmless comments, only when needed).
I'm sure I can add more as I think about this topic and make further first-hand observations in the coming days, but you can see from this that she tends to be negative about some things and inquisitive about others.
