Salt Lake Trib Columnist Robert Kirby Warns of Thanksgiving Dinner Family Perils

Robert Kirby, the Salt Lake Tribune's slightly irreverent and often highly entertaining columnist has provided some timely advice in today's column titled Too Many Families Feud Over Turkey. A former cop, Kirby says that he hated working Thanksgiving

. . . because it's the one holiday devoted to bringing people together--people who really shouldn't be within a hundred miles of each other for the rest of their lives.

Lamenting that family fight dispute calls were bad any time of the year, Kirby says that Thanksgiving domestic disputes were worse. He suggests that seating location at dinner is everything:

Set up tables at opposite ends of the house for Republicans and Democrats . . . serve Libertarians out in the garage.

With special warnings for seating those who owe each other money, those on opposite sides of Prop 8, and issues of religion, he concludes by advising not to leave the fattest person alone with the pies.

If you want another brilliant examination of what can happen on Thanksgiving, read Richard Ford's novel The Lay of the Land, which I reviewed under the category heading "Books" linked on the right.