Do something useful today: Go for an entire day without calling anyone a moron, idiot, jerk, or various and worse permutations and combinations of such names. This edict means that you must refrain from colorful, descriptive, and otherwise accurate labels for moron drivers, jerkwad bloviators, anemic politicians, news anchors, sports participants, wives, husbands, children, mothers in law, neighbors, bosses, employees, fast-food workers, etc. You may have a hard time accomplishing this feat. My daughter told me that she didn't know what SOB meant until in her late twenties. My grandchildren, when calling someone on the highway a moron, jerk, idiot, or something more colorful, merely explained to their parents that they learned it from grandpa. I will have a difficult time not labeling my favorite news anchor with the permanently frozen smile with my usual descriptive name.
Accomplishing this feat, for some, will require a mighty exercise of will. On the other hand, I watched an Andy Griffith rerun last night where Sheriff Taylor and Deputy Fife tried to break a continually fighting husband and wife of shouting, yelling, and disturbing the peace. After conditioning them to speak sweetly to each other, each spouse then began taking their anger out on everyone besides their spouse. So Andy and Barney merely restored them to their original state where they took their grievances out on each other and were nice to everyone else. The real test is whether we can persist in our unnaturally stressed condition to continue to be nice to jerks, morons, and idiots while refraining from calling them such names or wishing for a bullhorn so they could hear us speak to them. Lots of luck. So welcome to no-name-calling day. This event should shrink our carbon imprint, increase the Gross Domestic Product, and reduce our concern over who is at fault for paying the bonuses from our tax money. Happy days are here again.