Several of my faithful blog readers have felt a vacuum due to a paucity of updates on shopping at Costco. This lack of information has impeded some people from having adequate knowledge to enable them to conquer the 500 acre stores and still be able to arrive home several hours later.
As proof that I really did go to Costco, here is the evidence. Now you can see, not clearly, but see nonetheless, the "Entrance" sign on the left door and the "Exit" sign on the right door. Unlike WalMart, you will get nowhere if you enter the Exit door except the food court and the customer service lines. Plus, you have to show a membership card when you use the "Entrance" door or you will not be admitted to the company of fellow Costco cult members.
This trip was a hurried one, and my wife wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, so we didn't have time to dilly dally. I got my glasses screwed back together, and intended to buy another little screw set for $5.95, but, unfortunately, left it on the counter. I have bought at least ten of these little screw sets, but my wife keeps losing them for some reason or another. Besides, you have to buy two bottles of glasses cleaner with the screwdriver and cleaning cloth, and I already have about 20 of those around the house. I got one of those little bottles filled, anyway, while there, and was impressed with the sign at the refill botlte which said "Do not drink this stuff. It is not good for you." Or something like that. Who would imagine one would want to drink glasses cleaner?
I then headed for the Kleenex, five miles back to the back of the store, and noticed that Kleenex continues to go up about a dollar a batch every time we buy it, as does TP. Apparently trees are more and more pricier. The free samples were sparse and practically nonexistent, which ticked me off, since getting a free lunch at Costco is one of the main reasons I go there. That was just not right.
After loading up the cart with stuff like salsa, orange juice, bread, and who knows what other nonessential stuff we threw in there, I headed for the checkout line while my wife went to the car. The total was $91 which meant I didn't have to sign the receipt swearing on a Bible that I would honorably pay whatever amount was on there. Apparently you don't have to swear anything under $100 since purchases at less than $100 are so trivial. Then I headed correctly to the Exit door. Some times you get a conscientious checker outer at the door who scrutinizes your countenance, counts everything in your cart, then looks suspiciously at you again, and then uses his or her colored felt tip pen to check you out of the store. Today, no one looked at me, or what was in the cart. Apparently I looked honest and they didn't care whether I actually got everything I paid for with my $91. There weren't even any decent books to buy and then we still had to go to the grocery store. Oh misery. But at least the economic stimulus is working due to miraculous self-starting and not to Democratic wizardry, so that is a good thing. Some day I am going to go to Costco and get a new flat screen plasma HDTV. Just as soon as they release the hidden lost episodes of Matlock so I will have something to watch.
