Regular readers are aware that one of our most popular posts is the one that asks "Should I wear suspenders and look like Larry King?" Men from Bangkok to Argentina have clicked on that one, signifying that men throughout the world are cursed with the difficult choice of dragging their pants on the ground and wearing them out quickly, or harnessing up in unwieldly suspenders. However, here's the sad thing: No matter how many pair of suspenders we owned, we could not look like Larry King because he owns tens of thousands of color-coordinated suspenders. Besides, do we really think we are as good looking as Larry King?
But coming right up behind the suspenders issue is an issue we have blogged (or pontificated, take your choice) about prior hereto, viz., sock boogers. I paid a small fortune to have our carpets cleaned the other day. After I took off my dark brown socks, exactly 2,748 pieces of lint fell from the socks all over my nice clean carpet. I said something like, "Alas, I believe the sock boogers have attacked me again. Mercy, what shall I do?" or something similar to that. I have hypothesized before that workers in sock factories are paid to stuff socks with lint off the floor of the sock making factory floor so they don't have to get rid of this lint themselves. Some sock booger stuffers may feel they are actually getting even with the American imperialists who buy their socks.
Sock booger sufferers, unite! We must end this horrible travesty! And why is it that light socks are nearly always totally devoid of sock boogers? Someone tell me that? All my life I have been consumed with estimating marginal costs and marginal revenues and drawing supply and demand curves to send freshman econ students into a stupor of thought, when I should have been lecturing on the plague of sock boogers. Should I write to President Obama?