The Curmudgeonly Professor

The Curmudgeonly Professor's Principles of Great Photography

Before you leave the house be sure that:

• You have your camera(s)
• You have your battery installed.  And that said battery is charged.
• You have your memory card in your camera.

Now this may sound idiotic but I would like to know how many people have gone out cheerfully snapping away and discovered a dead battery, an absent battery, or an absent memory card.  We don't have to worry about film any more.  Casual film users often took a few pictures, let the camera languish for months or years in the closet, and then got it out and expected to take a batch of photos.  No such problem with digital.  But it does help mightily to remember your camera, your charged battery, and your memory card.  Nothing like a great photo op to discover you forgot to charge your battery last night.

The Curmudgeonly Professor Ponders the Mysteries of Google Page Rankings

One of the great mysteries of life is how Google positions the stuff you stick on the internet in their post listings.  The daily page views and unique visitors to the Curmudgeonly Professor web site are certainly miniscule compared to bloggers who get zillions of visitors and page views per day.  I have tried to research the Google methodology but all I can ascertain is that Google has an "algorithm" that takes care of the positions in their posting lists.  Right.  I've got an algorithm also.  The Bowl Championship Series kingpins have an algorithm.  But what is the algorithm?  Apparently this little rule is as secret as is the recipe for Coca-Cola.

Notwithstanding my meager page views, here are a few examples of Google rankings for some of my posts:

• 2d for peppermint tulips, total 1,020,000
• 7th for Miss Rumphius, total 535,000
• 1st for advantages of having two computers, total 2,950,000
• 6th for who will buy prints of my flowers, which, astonishingly, was just posted yesterday; total, 973,000
• 9th for pink flowering tree.

While it's a bit of an ego trip to find many of my postings near the top of Google rankings, these rankings do not translate into voluminous traffic.  About 20 percent of my page views originate with Google searches.  Who knows what the Google post ranking algorithm is?

Twittering Update for the Curmudgeonly Professor

As I am sure you must be aware by now, in the interests of staying abreast of modern technology, the Professor overcame his initial aversion to Twittering and Tweeting and is now Tweeting merrily away under the Twitter name of Econ 110.  Lately, he has been offering a nonstop economics quiz posing questions for the Ph.D economics orals exam such as "How would you solve the economic problems that have accumulated over decades in the next 60 days or less?"  If you cannot come up with an excellent answer to this question, complete with IS-LM curves, mathematical equations, supply and demand, forecasts for the future, etc., etc., you will be deemed unworthy to be turned loose in a classroom of lovely freshmen anxious to learn everything you learned in four years of grad school in two or three lectures.

For his efforts, the Professor now has all of 52 followers, each of whom seems anxious to expand their knowledge of economics.  This total falls a tad short of the 2 million followers Ellen DeGeneres has, or even the 1.5 million that President Obama has.  But 52 is 52.  That is 51 more than the one person I have around the house here who is tired of listening to my rants, complaints, whines, and stupid comments.  So don't knock it.

Twittering is great.  Sound off in 140 characters.  Then you're done, for the moment.  But we are learning daily that Twittering is no joke.  Twittering has become a lifeline in the chaos in Iran, an open portal that defies the ability of the government to squelch communications among people and with the outside world.  Imagine what might happen for good, we hope, and not for ill, as other causes are taken up and as the global Twitterers seek to do good and bring about change for the better.

It's Saturday Morning

One of the quintessential bits of warm musical nostalgia that has stayed with me forever are the words and music to the song "Come Saturday Morning" by Dory Previn and Fred Carlin, sung by the Sandpipers in the soundtrack of the film "The Sterile Cuckoo."  I don't think I've gone through a Saturday morning since the 70s without humming that song in my brain and remembering the words:

Just I and my friend\We'll travel for miles in our Saturday smiles/And then we'll move on/But we will remember long after Saturday's gone.

The Curmudgeonly Professor is Now an Official Photographer

The Curmudgeonly Professor is proud to announce that he has been appointed official photographer for our annual neighborhood breakfast brunch.  In accepting this honor, he was explicitly instructed to take pictures of faces, not butts.  Yes, in those exact words.  I am not making this up.  Apparently the last official photographer had erred in producing an excellent portfolio of photos of rear ends.  Unless one knew more . . . I won't elaborate. . . one would never know who belonged to what.  Only problem is, it looks like we could have rain by 11:00 a.m., which is already two hours later than original time to allow for better weather.  I should make up a badge that says:  "Curmudgeonly Professor, Official Photographer, turn around so I can see your face.  Thank you."

Clouds Gather Over the Wasatch Range Before the Afternoon Rain: Photos of the Day June 19 2009

Always double click images.  A day or so ago my wife said "You've got to come take photos of the afternoon clouds before it rains."  Always following her directions, I did so.

The white building with the spire up against the mountain in the left third of the photo is the new Draper LDS Temple.  The mountain is Mt. Timpanogos.  The white stuff is snow.  The Jordan River runs just behind the green tree in the foreground, from Utah Lake to the south to the Great Salt Lake.

 

Our Tour of Thanksgiving Point Continues: Photos of the Day June 19 2009

Our tour of Thanksgiving Point gardens during tulip season is nearly over.  Then we must go back for the midsummer flowers.  But isn't it nice to still see the tulips long after they are gone?

 

My Granddaughter, Michelle

The Curmudgeonly Professor has a whole bunch of gorgeous, bright granddaughters.  He does not wish to single one out over all of the others and, in due time, he will get around to saying something about all of them.  However, special circumstances merit consideration today of Michelle.

Michelle was raised by goodly parents with considerable righteous influence bestowed by her grandfather.  She is a world traveler, having already been to umpteen foreign nations with several more this year.  She claims to be in the second year of studying for an MBA, having received an honors degreee in psychology and having decided that she would not make any money selling her psychology honors degree.  She also has a marvelous soprano voice and sang a solo in front of millions at commencement, thus entitling grandma and I a special front row seat.  She is supposed to be studying debits, credits, business strategy, and whatever else MBAs are supposed to be studying.  Now she is off in Denver doing an internship.

Michelle has only one flaw.  She is a misguided LA Lakers fan.  To show how far she is willing to take this aberrant behavior, she posted a picture of none other than Kobe Bryant on the Summer Morning (linked at right) family blog.  She is deliberately trying to incite a riot, knowing there are few things in the world that raise her grandfather's blood pressure higher than does Kobe Bryant.  Our family blog is supposed to be for photos of our dear extended family.  Kobe is not now, never was, and never will be, a member of our dear extended family.  All we want is for Kobe, Phil, and assistant supervisory coach Jack Nicholson to ride off into the sunset and disappear.  Sooner would I cheer the Clips or, heaven forbid, the University of Utah Utes.  One can only begin to perceive the shocking reality of that latter statement.  But we hope Michelle will go through a 12 step Laker recovery program and that her higher education will lead her to assess objective evidence more clearly in the future.  Like sinning Republicans who ask Rush Limbaugh's humble forgiveness for dissing him, perhaps Michelle will soon see the light.  One can only hope.  We love her anyways, as we say here in Utah.

Why Computers are a Royal Pain

The Curmudgeonly Professor is especially grouchy this morning.  Affecting his grouchiness and curmudgeonliness are the following instigators:

• I subscribed to MobileMe for one year for a wasted $99 and just canceled it.  MobileMe replaced the dotMac feature on Apple, which I liked.  Now I get a half dozen popups every few minutes from "file sync agent" telling me my MobileMe account has expired.  Idiots!  I have searched the internet to try and expunge this worthless piece of trash.
• When I post photos on typepad.com on my PC and then add narrative, I get a flickering cursor.  The only way I can get rid of it is to restart.  Then I have to open on my Mac to add the narrative.  Who is responsible for this stupidity?
• I can't post live links on typepad on my PC.  I have to do it on my Mac.
• Stupid wireless on PC keeps turning from blue to red, turning itself off.  Moron!

If there are any geeks out there who wish to sympathize with the Curmudgeonly Professor and provide clues about what to do in re: computer glitches, kindly let me know.  Thank you.

Who Will Buy Prints of My Flowers? Anyone?

Dear faithful Curmudgeonly Professor followers:  When I started this blog a year and a half ago, I was inspired to do so by an article in USA Today  about gray-haired bloggers.  My hair was blonde, so I thought, but my wife said no, that was thirty years ago.  So I started the whole ridiculous-sounding enterprise amidst jeers and "Why would you want to do thats?" and "What the heck is blogging?" types of smart remarks.  Etc.   I started sticking on a few photos just for the fun of it because I like to take photos and thought others might like to see them.  I stuck a copyright notice on the blog, hoping that people would be honest enough just to appreciate seeing my photos and not copy or use them for commercial purposes without contacting me.

I peppered the blog with intellectual content such as "Should I wear suspenders and look like Larry King?" and "Don't accompany your wife to Kohl's Department Store if she has a $10 coupon" and a smattering of more serious comments and short pieces.  My page views now average around 2500-3000 per month, some less, some more.  I started out trying Google Ad.Sense because I thought it would be cool to make a few bucks to pay some of my expenses, but gave that up after my net income for five months was $30.  I may try the ad business again to see if I can cover some of the costs of my hobby now that my IRA and 401(k) have been demolished by people I should have flunked in economics and kept them from getting jobs in mortgage banking and on Wall Street.  Jerks.

As time went along, I took more and more photos, filling up hard drives, and spending more and more time trying to learn how to take and edit better photos.  I've still got a lot to learn, but some have turned out quite well, I think.  I probably have at least 25,000 photos by now, and add anywhere from 1000 to 2000 per month, even after massive deletes.

I've had some encouragement to sell prints and photo cards.  I have no illusion I could sell very many, or make more than a few random pennies here and there, but it is an intriguing idea.  I've scoured the internet for ideas and think I have found a site that would host my enterprise, provide market basket and all the other doodads needed to sell photos in some form or other.  I'll have to start watermarking all my photos to provide greater protection from infringement.  So far, I've taken the attitude that I just wanted to spread cheer and the beauty of flowers.  I have no illusions about being a great photographer, or even a very good one, but I think some of my photos are pretty good and look nice hanging on a wall, where some of them reside in my home, or on note cards, which, even though I'm biased, seem quite beautiful and frameable.

So far I've failed in every money making venture I ever tried.  When I was younger, I thought I had MS for a few years, so I tried to find some other way of making money.  I tried, and failed, in owning two bookstores, building and renting 40 student apartments, starting a newsletter, a half dozen MLMs, and heaven knows what else.  Someone took pity on me and let me continue teaching, where at least I had a paycheck.  So this enterprise is my first foray into seeing if I can earn an extra few bucks to feed my expensive hobbies.

Comments are welcome.

Photos You Should Take Around Your Home

There are several reasons why you should take detailed photos of everything around and in your home.  First, people always try to remember years later just what the house they lived in looked like and what they had in it.  Second, for security and insurance reasons, you should have photos of all of your visible possessions.  Third, after taking photos of everything you can see, get out your valuable documents and records, scan them, and burn to disc.

It's a lot easier to see your insurance adjuster with a disc of detailed photos showing the inventory of what you have in your house than just to try and reconstruct a list from memory.  Be sure to take several photos from various angles in each room so everything that is in the room is visible.  Be especially careful to take photos of special collections of valuables such as china figurines, hobby items, cameras, computers, printers.  Take photos of each bookshelf in enough details so titles are visible in a blowup.

When you're finished with the photos of your home, get out all of your valuable records and documents, run them through a scanner, and burn the images to disc.  Put the documents disc and the home inventory disc in your safety deposit box.  Many people mourn the loss of their photo albums above many other material possessions.  To avoid this loss, scan your photos and burn to a disc or discs, again putting your photo discs in your safety deposit box.  If a number of years go by, check your discs and make sure they are still readable. Recopy or burn additional copies if necessary; some could be stored in multiple locations.  It takes only minutes to burn a disc once the scanning work is done.  Years of misery and mourning could occur if precautions are not taken.

A few hours of care and some photography and scanning can save you a lot of misery and heartache if a crisis strikes down the road.

Watching a Computer Gag, Evade Life Support, and Die an Agonizing Death

I'm not sure how many years ago I bought my wife an Inspiron 5100 Dell computer since she certainly was entitled to have her own computer to pay bills, write letters, and surf the internet.  For all these years I have congratulated myself on the durability of this durable piece of electronic gadgetry.  No longer.

One day, my wife yelled, "My computer won't work!"  I am supposed to be a techie, which I am not.  I last had access to innumerable 18 year old techies at BYU who came running every time a computer illiterate needed help.  Our life depended on teen age kids who somehow had learned computers from birth while we, who had been working on computers since their inception, knew squat about how the things worked.  Just as our lives depend on teen agers when we go to McDonald's.  But I digress.

I went into the other room and, sure enough, the computer had the blue kiss-of-death blue crash screen telling me the computer had encountered an egregious and unbelievably stupid error caused by the lack of proper attention.  After spending hours, trying to resurrect this clunker of a computer dinosaur, I encountered an astonishing variety of entertaining screens.  "Your computer has encountered a serious error."  "Hard disc error." "Restart your computer with Alt-Ctr-Del."  Joke from Dell, actually.  Why can't the computer say simply "You're computer is now officially a POC, no longer a PC, and it has outlived it's designated cyber life by five years already and if you had any brains you would not try to start this neanderthal piece of junk but buy the newest, latest, greatest electronic marvel which will, in its turn, become an antiquated and worthless POC in approximately six months--or less."

I let the computer sit for three days.  I turned it on not expecting anything to happen.  Miracle of miracles, it started up!  I got on the internet!  I opened files!  I was consoled through my weeping as I read the encouraging words "You're computer has recovered from a serious error."  No kidding.  But, hold on.  Moments later, and you guessed it: Darth Vader and the evil forces of computer obsolescence and the genius writers of crash screens turned out in force.  One ingenious disaster screen after another.  The old and faithful Inspiron began its final death throes and agonies, choking and gagging, and telling me that this was an old POC and that everything in the world was wrong with it.

As I recall, I paid about $1100 for this wondrous machine.  I checked the properties key and discovered the ancient denizen of computer trash piles had a magnificent 30G hard drive.  Imagine!  Thirty G!   A miracle compared to the 54 MB Apple I once had on my desk with not enough room to write a letter.  So I shopped and I shopped and I checked computer coupons and I looked at WalMart and Costco and Office Depot and Office Max and Staples and HP and Dell sites and studied reviews and ratings.  I settled on a new HP for $550 with, get this, 350G hard drive, enough room so my wife could save every bit of information for 10 years and still not fill it up.  The new computer will arrive on June 22, Amazon tells me, then I will have a couple of day's work ahead of me to get the thing up and running.  Amazon, by the way, was cheaper than HP for the same model.

So, who knows?  If one is to live in the age of technology, one must endure the humiliations and frustrations of blue screens and a plethora of astonishing crashes and death throes and then cheerfully go forth and Twitter, Tweet, Facebook, blog, surf, email, and whatever else comes along tomorrow.  Life was simpler when we listened to Jack Armstrong, the All American Boy on an old beat up radio and that was the extent of our technology. 

My Latest Book Order from Amazon.com

There is nothing so much fun as finding a new box of books on my porch with the Amazon swoop signaling I have much new reading material to add to my hundreds of already-unread, but soon-to-be read, books.  The first book in the following list was chosen for our book study group for July, so I had to order that one.  But to get free shipping and to mollify my curiosity, I, of course, added a few others.  Here is the list:

1. Mormons, Indians, and the American Landscape: On Zion's Mount, by Jared Farmer (Cambridge MA, Harvard University Press, 2008).  The story of two Utah landmarks, Mt. Timpanogos and Utah Lake, and how the Mormons displaced the Indians from their native area around Utah Lake.  Outstanding reviews.
2. The Photographer's Eye:  Composition and Design for Better Digital Photos by Michael Freeman.  (Burlington MA: Elsevier and Focal Press, 2007)  An absolutely gorgeous book, one from which I have already learned a few things.
3. High Wire:  The Precarious Financial Lives of American Families by Peter Gosselin. (New York:  Basic Books, 2008).  The Washington Post calls this story of economic issues confronting American families a page turner.
4. The Looting of America:  How Wall Street's Game of Fantasy Finance Destroyed our Jobs, Pensions, and Prosperity by Les Leopold.  (White River Jnct VT: Chelsea Green Publ. 2009).  The title makes the book sound like a pot-boiler, but strong reviews from numerous respected journalists, authors, and economists.  It's time we all learned about derivatives and such.
5. Once You're Lucky, Twice You're Good:  The Rebirth of Silicon Valley and the Rise of Web 2.0 by Sarah Lacey. (New York: Gotham Books, 2008).   About innovators who never gave up on their internet dreams.

The latter three are available in mass market paperback.  If you're looking for something else to read, try one or more of these and then we'll compare notes.

Wait! Don't Touch that Delete Button! Apply a Little TLC and See What You Get! : Photos of the Day June 18 2009

What do the following five photos have in common?  They were all ugly ducklings, deemed unworthy of further existence, and appeared headed for delete and the trash basket.  But, on second thought, I decided to see whether any of them could be salvaged with a bit of cropping, a shot of contrast, a dab of brightness control, and a sharpener, among other remedial steps.  So here they are.  The two tiny yellow blooms were especially doomed, since they appeared worthless to begin with.  The salvaged view of these little blossoms tells us that all blossoms, no matter their current state, have something about them that is worth saving.

 

Photos From Yesteryear: First Child, 1953, Now Attorney