My wife is a woman of relatively few words, on most occasions. Here is a list of her favorite words and sayings:
- Really? Spoken with a variety of inflections in response to authoritative statements I make.
- Whatever! Spoken with a tinge, from minor to major, of sarcasm in response to statements I make with which she may disagree or find obnoxious.
- Is that right? Words spoken as an alternative to "really."
- "Oh goody," when reminded that we are married forever.
- "Wow! I'm really impressed!" when I reminded her I was a Doctor of Philosophy.
- "When do you plan to throw out the pile of magazines in the magazine stand that has been there a year and a half?" Self explanatory. I threw them away this summer, though some were of historical interest. She is now searching for a replacement question.
- "That's really tough," in reply to my desperate pleadings about how parched I am and need a cold, refreshing beverage.
- "Third and eight and you're running the ball up the middle? How stupid can you get?" Self explanatory.
- "I'm not bringing you to (WalMart, Costco, wherever) any more," spoken for a variety of reasons which I feel are invalid.
- "Do you have to be so rude?" Spoken for reasons totally unknown to me.
- "Just show me one," Spoken in response to my statement that if she gets tired of me there are millions of women waiting for me.
As I think up other favorite words and sayings that my dear wife speaks frequently to me, I will add them to the list. She refuses to play "Name That Tune" with me, which is played by tapping out the rhythm of a song on the wall or the bedstead, even though I have offered her upwards of at least a million dollars if she gets it right. She also refuses to rate me on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of being polite and having good manners, just so I will be aware of those areas in which self improvement is required. I did tell her the other day, though, that I was really thankful for her, and that I thought every husband should tell their wives that at least once every 40 years if they intended to have a happy marriage.
