Since reading has been a bit difficult for me later, I have watched enough Starz Western movies to become an expert on making them. Thus, I am happy to offer my considerable expertise on this matter to anyone else who might want to film an oater.
To begin with, and most important, we must consider the actors, actresses, scenes, paraphernalia, and Western gear necessary to film an oater, as follows:
- First, and most important, we need a saloon. Two would be better, but one will do. The reason is that usually all the important shootings, killings, gunfights, and action take place in a saloon. In the saloon we need a robust bartender with a shotgun, a piano playing "Buffalo gals won't you come out tonight," a card table, and some fake whiskey which everyone is always drinking gallons of. (bad grammar, but this is an oater).
- Next we need some semblance of a Western town, fake or otherwise with store fronts, boardwalks, a couple of tumble weeds to blow down the street, and some horse pooper scoopers because no horse is ever allowed to defecate on the street in an oater.
- We need a bank to rob.
- A jail with a sheriff and a deputy.
- A doctor to dig out all the bullets and buckshot in all the folks who get shot in the saloon and on the street in case they get challenged to go out on the street and be a man.
- An undertaker to make wood coffins and bury all the folks who get shot. Actually, I learned that no one actually gets shot, they just get paid to act like a corpse that had the whatever blasted out of them as they fall across two card tables, all the time without a single spatter of blood or body parts.
- Boot hill, where they bury the fake corpses who by now have been expelled from the movie set because after all they are now deceased and have gone home to watch TV and spend their acting fee for being a corpse on pizza and beer.
- A minister or someone who can recite a scripture or two over all the folks being buried in Boot Hill.
- Black mourning dress for mourning all the fake burials in Boot Hill.
- We need two or three women actresses, maybe a school teacher, a saloon girl, and a rancher's wife who has been done wrong and greets all callers with a shotgun.
- A general store which stocks bullets, cloth to sew long dresses to drag in the dirt, oats, gumdrops, boots, spurs, and everything you need to be a schoolmarm, rancher, cowboy, or bad guy.
- Some really rotten looking evil guys wearing black hats and with big sneers like they know they can shoot better than anyone and who will likely end up being a corpse or corpses before the movie is over.
- Some good guys who can twirl their guns quickly and can outdraw anyone cheating in a poker game or threatening them in the saloon or out on the clean street.
- A stage coach parked outside of town which can come roaring into town in a cloud of dust at a moment's notice and disembark two lovely ladies who have ridden a mile in the coach and therefore haven't mussed their makeup or gotten their beautiful dresses dirty or dusty along with two or three mysterious looking men, one of whom has two hundred wanted posters out on him for doing evil deeds in five states.
- A hotel, or at least rooms above the saloon where more shootings and hanky panky can take place.
- Cows, obviously
- A whole bunch of horses.
- Cowboys who can ride lickety split out of town the moment they are enlisted in a posse to chase a bank robber, kidnapper, or other rotten person into the hills where they will be gone for two or three days or weeks eating beans.
- A ranch house for either a good guy rancher or an evil rancher who is rustling cattle and making life miserable for everyone else in the oater.
- A train station with a toy train that goes choo choo and which hauls folks off to jail in distant towns and brings in the mail.
Choose a plot: (1) bank robbery; (2) cattle rustling, (3) horse thievery, (4) murder in the saloon or on the street, (5) some combination thereof.
That's pretty much it. John Wayne didn't take any sass and merely knocked anyone across the room after which they got up and thanked him and behaved themselves thereafter. Gene Autry sang songs and strummed his guitar. Clint Eastwood had a beautiful sneer and never lost. You can work out some variation. Oh I almost forgot, you may have to dress up a few Indians who usually just end up being shot off their horses after they get themselves done up in feathers and such. Good luck on filming your western. I could have been a great oater actor but I'll just have to be satisfied with being a country and western singer.