The Curmudgeonly Professor is proud to announce his definitive no-fail weight-loss guide. This weight-loss guide is the end product of four decades of overweight, dieting yo-yos, high blood pressure, and other ailments exacerbated by being over lardified. During this time I have acquired dozens of weight-loss and food books, most of which I read only a chapter or two or nothing at all in them. I went to Weight Watchers for years, went to a doctor-ordered hospital weight loss program, counted calories, bought low-fat stuff, avoided most things I knew I wasn't supposed to eat, and I was still fat. My cardiologist warned me once I tipped the scales at 315 that I was taking months off my life.
Now, however, I have seen the light. I have lost 50 pounds in the last six months and am now down to 265. My blood pressure has leveled off. Mykidney function creatinine and BUN levels have returned to normal. My heart function on an echocardiogram is normal. All of my other blood chemical tests are in normal range. I no longer am in the congestive heart failure danger zone. I can see to tie my shoes and don't need a periscope to look past my stomach. My pants are all too big and sag all over the place. I am improving my walking balance little by little.
When you lose weight, everyone asks, "How did you do it?" As if there is a magic potion or a hidden secret to losing weight.
Here, free of charge, is my secret to losing 50 pounds: I ate less. And so, rule number 1, and the most important and definitive rule so losing weight is: EAT LESS.
Of course there is more to it than that. I learned a lot about food and dieting over the past 40 years and hidden underneath the eat less rule is a lot of what I know about stuff like balancing carbs and proteins, not eating anything with nine zillion fat grams in it, skipping salt whenever possible, omitting as much sugar as possible, and on and on. I will elaborate on some of these more obvious gems about weight loss in further posts. For now, the mantra for losing weight is EAT LESS. Remind yourself of this two-word rule everytime you are ready to stuff something down your gullet. You will lose weight.