The Curmudgeonly Professor

Madrid Spain Plaza Scene

Photo by Jim Blood family

Old North Church Boston MA

Niagara Falls

 

A Well Traveled Path to a Wyoming Outhouse: Another Photo from the Archives

 

Herding Sheep Down Main Street in Ephraim UT: Photo from the Archives for February 27 2011

 

Egregious Events on Our Recent Trip to Maui

Here are several egregious events that occurred on our recent trip to Maui:

1. Paying $15 per bag each way to United, now cutely known as "TED", for our bags, for an extra $60 for the trip.
2. Sitting on the plane for three hours in LA while the loudspeaker continually updated us on progress made toward fixing a "valve".  Apparently they were first waiting for the valve.  Then they announced that takeoff was imminent after doing some necessary paperwork.  The paperwork took another two hours.  Finally we were let off the plane to stretch our legs with the option of taking a 4:45 flight to Maui but with the understanding that our baggage may take a couple of days to catch up with us.  So we took a chance on catching our original flight, which eventually was ready to take off.  During the interim, we were updated at half-hour intervals with information that "departure has been delayed for another (fill in the blank, half hour, hour, whatever).  I told the flight attended United (TED) should at least pay for our lunch, meal, whatever, for our inconvenience.  When the food carts rolled around with their option of three exotic snack boxes at six bucks a whack or a couple of salads for 9 bucks, the flight attendant served my wife and I the salad but wouldn't take our money.  We noted that everyone else had to pay for it.  I just hoped the poor flight attendant didn't have to pay for it herself.   TED was too cheap to provide any benefits for their passengers.
3. Enjoying what was tabbed the "sixty-three year record rainstorm" the second day on Maui.  Fortunately, we weren't flooded at Ka'anapali, but Oahu and the other islands had lots of flooding and Kahului (where the Maui airport is located)  had some flooding.  Since many buildings are open in Hawaii, including our hotel, the corridors and lobby were soaked and very, very slick.
4. Bouncing over the 25 miles or so of absolutely the roughest road in the world on the back road to Hana, which dislocated my liver, jiggled my innards, and led me to wonder why we were paying big money for this tour. 
5. Going to see the dinner show "Tina and Tony's Hawaiian Wedding" which cost a fortune and was absolutely the worst event I have ever attended in my life.   Sheer torture, and we left early.  Published reviews before the performance were raves.
6. The six parrots in the lobby of our hotel totally refused to talk even though they were being paid to perform. 
7. Sitting through another torturous time share presentation just to get two hundred bucks. 
8. Getting stuck on the second floor of our ten-story hotel where we had an excellent view of the lobby.  The suite itself, however, was luxurious.
9. Paying five bucks for a quart of milk.  Pineapple costs more in Hawaii than you can buy it for at Costco in Utah.  Maui potato chips cost more in Maui than they do after shipping them to Lin's grocery in St. George.  Gas was only $2.78, which was a relative bargain.  If your tank is only a wee bit off full when you return the rental, you get socked a standard $48, irregardless (so to speak, ungrammatical or not).  The best thing in Hawaii is POG, passion fruit-orange-guava drink, which the flight attendant had never heard of, despite flying the regular run to Maui. Sad day. 
10. Visiting the visually wonderful Tedeschi Winery on our little tour of the island and having to forego the generous tasting possibilities just because of my religion.   Sin did seem momentarily attractive, but I resisted temptation.
11. Coughing up a fortune for "gratuities" for skycaps (well worth it), tour bus driver, hotel personnel, car valets, meals, luaus, shuttle driver, etc., etc., etc.   I know underpaid workers depend on gratuities for a bare-bones living, and most do offer great service,  but gratuities still add up to an impressive sum. 
12. Not being able to get USA Today until a day late, which then became USA Yesterday, but I needed it for my crossword puzzle.      

Notwithstanding the aforementioned egregious items, Hawaii is still my favorite place to be and if I were a rich man I would spend much more time over there, basking in the trade winds, drinking POG, watching the waves slosh up on the shore, and wishing I were a rich man.  All fantasies must, however, come to an end, but they do leave a lot of good memories behind.